Ksenia Novikova: “Fight for the children right”

The singer survived a difficult divorce, the former husband tried to rob her sons. Now Ksenia shares tips on how not to be in a similar situation.

Sometimes it is better to part with your spouse, so as not to injure the child's psyche.There are cases when to save the relationship is not worth it. It will be uncomfortable for the child to live in a family, even if it is complete, where the parents either quietly hate each other, or, worse, loudly - with beatings, abuse. It is better to see a happy mother on weekdays, and a happy, smiling dad on weekends. Before you file for divorce, soberly assess the situation: whether you need to save everything or it is better to let go. Focus not on personal emotions, but on how it will affect the child.

Photo: Ksenia Novikova personal archive

Sometimes it is better to part with your spouse, so as not to injure the child's psyche.There are cases when to save the relationship is not worth it. It will be uncomfortable for the child to live in a family, even if it is complete, where the parents either quietly hate each other, or, worse, loudly - with beatings, abuse.It is better to see a happy mother on weekdays, and a happy, smiling dad on weekends. Before you file for divorce, soberly assess the situation: whether you need to save everything or it is better to let go. Focus not on personal emotions, but on how it will affect the child.

The order of communication with children must be recorded in court.Sometimes personal arrangements are not enough. Unfortunately, in our country, women, like men, are increasingly blackmailing former spouses with the help of a child. Although even a court decision is not always a panacea. My former husband (businessman Andrei Sereda. - Note. "Antennas") was not prevented by any documents from taking sons abroad during the first joint days off. For nine months! But still better secure yourself. By consulting with a lawyer and signing a settlement agreement, many disputes can be resolved in the future. Now I have opened a charitable foundation for legal and psychological assistance, “Our Meaning of Life”, you can contact them for a free consultation.

Children should know that parents broke up.In no case can not keep them in the dark, assuring that dad or mom left for a while, at work.And then at the weekend portray a happy family, although both have new relationships. This is mistake. At first, I also did not tell my sons anything, I thought they were still too small (at the time of the separation, Myron was four years old, Bogdan was two years old. - Approx. Antennas). But after what they had experienced, they began to ask questions. And I tried to explain to them in simple terms what happened. If it’s hard for you to talk with your child on your own, contact your psychologist for help, go to the reception with your baby.

Never insult a second parent.On whatever note you break up, never with your child pour mud at each other. This can turn into a psychological trauma, since for children there is no one better than their beloved mothers and fathers. Raising hatred of parents in the child is a crime that will negatively affect his future.

If you are trying to deprive a child, do not panic.Contact the legal service immediately, learn about your rights. After the first consultation you will be easier, you will understand how to proceed. Enlist the support of loved ones. And constantly think about the children, that they are waiting for you.You have no right to give yourself slack.

Get alimony.In most cases, after parting, the children remain with the mother, and the burden of their content falls on her shoulders. And the fathers do nothing to abstract from this mission. There are a lot of examples when wealthy people in papers turn out to be poor homeless. A decent person will never abandon a child, will dress, shoe, feed. If you got a scoundrel, fight for alimony. With the help of the law. Now for malicious defaulters invented a lot of punishments, from fines to the deprivation of a driver's license.

Photo: Ksenia Novikova personal archive

Do not rush to give up work, career, giving yourself completely to the family.At one time, unlike many of my colleagues, I was not afraid to part with the stage for a while in order to tackle the children. And did not regret it, managed to return. But situations are different. Some of the women, devoting all of their household chores, refusing to work, may later be left with nothing during the divorce. Therefore, think carefully about your independence.

Building relationships, listen to the children.Left with a child after a divorce,do not rush to put a cross on yourself. But with a new companion, try to find a middle ground to combine women's happiness and peace of children. Believe me, if a man fell in love with you, then he will love your child. Alex (businessman Alexei Sorokin, the current husband of Ksenia. - Note. "Antenna") quickly found a common language with Bogdan and Miron. He loves my sons, and they feel it. Waiting for him from work every night.



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