The main reasons why you are lucky to scoundrels
Mila Levchuk is a popular blogger, expert and trainer on the issue of the relationship between a man and a woman. For many years she has been teaching women to leave the position of an unfortunate victim and shows the way to women's happiness.
It's a shame when a good guy with whom a relationship began, turned out to be a bad person. The mask fell, and there - the scoundrel. But worse, when others just do not pull you.
You are not attracted by good guys.
Romantic, adequate, calm guys look boring, bland for you, nothing trembles inside, does not respond. He gives you a pen, looks into his eyes, and escorts him home. And you sigh, remember how they were quarreling with the former in the car, and he threw you to the side of the road. Then, maybe, he came back, and there was a passionate first-in, or maybe - you will go home to your house, and then he will spit again - he will kiss, he will hold to your heart - he will send you to hell. That would be again such a brutal and tattooed!
You only like the inaccessible
Another option - you are suitable only for those who do not care for you. You are such an Amazon — you start a hunt, seduce an object and, when it is already yours, sharply lose interest. Need a new game for pursuit. And at first it seems: “You saw, how can I? Around lovers of fools. And I am a queen! ”And then the years go by, and not a single victory has brought so much happiness. The heart does not calm down. All families, children, and from the tits in the hands of the turncoat, you always need some kind of new crane with a three-day stubble.
You don't believe in love
“What kind of love is this? I do not know, did not see. I did not like anyone, and in general I don’t like it all. One is better! ”And all one and one. Fine. Calmly Smooth. And just outside the glass someone muffled knocks: “Come out! There are feelings, there is life! Wind in the face, laughter to tears, happiness to shiver! "Or worse:" You will remain an old maid! Grandchildren come on! You're crazy! Get out now! ”
And I want to feel something, what everyone is talking about. And become normal. You go beyond some not very nasty. And he is angry, begins to demand, insult, spoil life. How good it was with the cat! And what if I won't even love children? Or do not like?
There is one reason for all this: childhood trauma of affection.
In deep childhood, they explained to you what the world is and what to expect from it. Such a thing asbasic trust in the worldformed in children up to a year.And he's okay if mom:
1. Do not throw for an hour "burst out", but in fact feel all the delights of abandonment and fear for your life;
2. Attentive and satisfies the basic needs of the child (food, sleep, safety);
3. It does not interfere with knowing the world, splashing hands and blocking “bad” behavior, which, by the year, is absent by definition, and sees the child as a person, not as property
4. Do not yell, lupit and not scared.
That is, all childhood the child is sure that he is protected, that he will survive. Mom is a reliable and adequate person, and you can stop worrying about dangers and calmly figure out what is happening in this world. Such a person, in principle, does not understand how you can fall in love with a bad person who does not put you in anything? But those who did not see anything else from their mother, simply do not perceive a different model! Well, or just do not understand love and its meaning.
People with similar childhood injuries:
1. They are pessimistic, all the while waiting for bad things from people and life;
2Sometimes they are helpless and believe that nothing depends on them;
3. They are aggressive, because they think: what others have is unfairly obtained and could get them, well, or at least to teachers and doctors ...
4. Often try to take revenge on the world for their pain.
What kind of happiness and mutual love? And worst of all, mom got this model from her. And you risk to pass, because the subconscious mind works. How to deal with it? By psychotherapy. Efforts to cancel the experience of the first year of life will not work.
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